The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion. – Paolo Coelho How can I practice and live in humility on a day to day basis?
Instead of asking why me, have I asked myself why not me? Humility comes to mind. The thing I have had to learn about humility is that I can’t just say “I’m going to be humble today” and leave it at that. “I’m going to be humble because this program of AA says I need to be humble.” Humility is a state of being that occurs as a result of living outside of myself. Humility is a by product, not a product. It is not something I can just choose to be. It manifests itself as a result of how I choose to behave, the choices and decisions I have made and how I act on those in my day to day life.
One of the greatest places, nobody ever talks about, in reference to humility is in the Big Book. Right there on page 63 in the third step it says “we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.” This is one of the best definitions of manifesting humility I can think of. I am so grateful for what Alcoholics Anonymous has given me, this way of life, and it all comes back to how I feel on the inside today. Because I am okay today and okay is good enough. It really is.
I will do what I need to do and I will be who I need to be. Every morning when I wake up and have a morning meditation, one of the affirmations; the main affirmation i have been using is me reflecting on who am I willing to be today, what am I willing to do today in order to be the person I am committed to be today. Because that is what this whole sobriety and program of AA is about for me.
If you want to know how to stay sober, you want to know how to get that life you love, you want to know how the promises will start manifesting in your life? It is about learning how to show up in life and be that person. It is living life from the inside out not from the outside in. It is never about what is going on, it it always about who am I going to be in the face of what is going on.
Since coming into these rooms and turning a corner and going through the processes outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the thing I can tell you is there is nothing that has happened in my life that has overwhelmed me, nothing has occurred that has put me over the edge. I know several people in this program who have lost children to suicide, to overdose, they have sat with their dying parents. They have lost jobs, gone through divorce, lost their homes, they have experienced everything you can experience and they walked through it, they stayed sober, and went on living.
An older gentlemen working at a treatment center I was able to visit told me, “If I had to try not to drink today I would be out there with a big bag of cocaine and a big bottle of tequila or scotch or something. This program, AA, is not about that. This deal is not about trying not to drink. This deal is about becoming a person through that process who is relieved of maladies of the spirit and is truly willing to embrace the amazing role set aside for them.
There is a catch we read about on page 72 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It warns us that through that process, it is the one or two things that I hold onto, that I won’t give up, I won’t share with another human being, and there by refuse to bring God/Higher Power into the picture. “If we skip this vital step we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to other methods. Almost invariably they got drunk.”
You can write 18 pages of crap (during step 5) and it’s the half page you didn’t write that makes you a bigger liar, a bigger cheat, and a bigger thief than you ever were. The worst thing I believe someone can do is to complete a fourth step and a fifth step and omit something. According to the way this program is laid out, when I take that third step I have just made an agreement with a higher power.
I have committed myself to this open and honest relationship and I cannot start out with dishonesty from the get go and throw it in the face of the entity. I have seen it several times over this last half of a year and have heard others speak of the importance many times. The results are not good, if you do not truly honor this agreement and lay everything out on the table to seek true redemption from and through that and working with and for others, humility.
Here are 11 different ways I have learned to practice and live in humility.
- Avoid curiosity.
- Accept small irritations with good humor.
- Speak as little as possible about myself.
- Give in to the will of others.
- Accept insults and injuries.
- Keep busy with my own affairs and not those of others.
- Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
- Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
- Accept contempt, being forgotten, and disregarded.
- Do not dwell on the faults of others.
- Accept censures even if unmerited.